I Hate Being in Front of the Camera

Me in front of the camera... But I don't like it.

A few months ago, I put out a video talking about how I see my clients through my lens.

In it, I shared something I genuinely believe: I see beauty in everyone I photograph. Not surface-level beauty. Not perfection. But something real. Something grounded.

I see strength.

I see character.

I see presence.

But what I often hear from my clients is something very different.

“I’m not photogenic.”

 “I hate photos of myself.”

 “I just don’t see what you see.”

In that video, I even said it—maybe a little bluntly. I basically called bullsh*t.

Bullsh*t that you’re not beautiful.

Bullsh*t that you’re not worthy of being seen.

Because I see you, and so do so many others.

But here’s the part I didn’t say in that video. The part that seems ridiculous when I say it out loud.

I think all of us, at one time or another, have had a hard time with what we see in the mirror and photos. Ok, so here's the truth. I hate being in front of the camera. Just as much as you do.

The Gap Between How We See Ourselves

And how it creates hang-ups of being in front of the camera

When a client tells me, “I’m awkward in front of the camera,” I usually smile and say, “That’s why I’m on this side of the camera. I hate being in front of it too.”

They laugh. The tension softens.

But there’s honesty in that moment.

For a long time, I didn’t like photos of myself. I would analyze everything. My weight. My posture. My expression. The way my smile landed.

I’d wonder what people thought when they saw the image.

As if one photograph could define who I am.

 As if it could confirm every insecurity I’ve ever had.

And when you’re visible—running a business, leading teams at the Ajax-Pickering Board of Trade (putting yourself out there)—that feeling gets louder.

Because leadership comes with exposure.

And exposure has a way of poking at your ego.

We all have one. Every one of us.

The camera doesn’t create insecurity—it reveals how we see ourselves. It forces you to confront something you might normally avoid.

That’s uncomfortable.

But it’s also honest.

This Isn’t About “Fixing” Yourself

I don’t think self-image is something you solve once and move on from. I think it’s something you work on for a lifetime.

Some days you feel solid. Some days you don’t.

I’ve grown through it.

But I won’t pretend it’s gone.

What’s changed is this:

 I care a lot less about how I’m perceived and a lot more about who I am.

Confidence isn’t about perfection.

It’s about showing up anyway.

It’s about recognizing when your ego is loud and choosing not to let it run the room.

It’s about understanding that discomfort doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be visible. It just means you’re human.

Why This Matters in My Studio

That’s why empathy matters so much to me as a photographer.

Standing in front of a camera isn’t really about posing—it’s about trust.

As a photographer, I have to be willing—like my clients—to be vulnerable and embrace it.

I ask so many of you to walk into my studio and trust me.

Trust that I’ll guide you.

Trust that I’ll see you clearly.

Trust that I won’t rush you.

Trust that I won’t judge you.

If I’m not willing to step in front of the camera myself, then I’m not fully living what I ask of you.

Getting in front of the camera is my way of putting in the work, too.

To sit with the discomfort.

To face hesitation.

To acknowledge the ego.

To show up anyway.

It’s not about loving every image of myself.

It’s about understanding what it feels like to stand where you stand.

That’s how I lead—by example, in all aspects of what I do.

Show Up Anyway

So if you’ve avoided a photo, a video, a stage, or an opportunity because you didn’t feel “ready” or “confident enough,” you’re not alone.

A lot of capable people wait longer than they need to—not because they lack ability, but because they’re waiting to feel comfortable first.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

Comfort usually comes after you show up, not before.

You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy of being seen.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You don’t need to love every photo of yourself.

You just need to be present.

And honestly?

The people who matter already see you.

About MIL Photography

YOUR STORY. YOUR BRAND. YOUR IMAGE.

MIL Photography creates professional headshots, branding photography, and commercial visuals for businesses of all sizes. Based in Durham Region, we regularly photograph professionals in Ajax, Pickering, Oshawa, and throughout the Greater Toronto Area who want to show up with confidence and clarity.

Our mission is simple: create professional images that help people be seen at their best. Whether it’s a studio headshot, a branding session, or corporate event coverage, every session is planned with care so your images feel intentional and aligned with your goals.

When you’re ready to step in front of the camera, we’re here.